The Jailbird

Oh Peeps. I was minding my own business this morning when there was a knock at the door.
Yes, someone from the POA sent a warrant for the arrest of my precious Pumpkin Topiary Beachy.


.
She had not done ANYTHING wrong. She was just sitting pretty on the porch minding her own business.


We looked across the street and found the culprits!


Those EVIL JEALOUS BOOITCHES had turned her in!!

The Beachy Porch was devastated. Those ugly girls
were laughing.

NNNOOOOO! Beachy Mimi screamed. Don't take Pumpkin Topiary Beachy! You'll have to drag me, too!

Pumpkin Topiary cried, Beachy Mimi cried, but the bad guys showed no mercy.

In a precious show of solidarity, the rest of the porch followed as she was led away in handcuffs.
The tears were just pitiful.
But Topiary Beachy got her purse, necklace, earrings and tissue and was bravely led away...friends following.
Spider Beachy made one last valiant attempt to stop this injustice to no avail.
On they trudged, down the street.
It broke my heart to see such suffering.
It was a long long slow walk.
They finally came to their destination.
The parting was so painful but finally they were separated by the bars of jail.

My Precious Pumpkin Topiary Beachy. May you Rest In Peace. October 1, 2008-November 2, 2008 Gone Forever.

Reporting for Duty, General

One of my greatest earthly joys is , The Princess. She is having a birthday week blowout in the days leading up to the Palooza, itself.

The Princess loves to be around all her family and likes them to go with her to birthday celebrations whether they be dog shows, trips to the beach, camping, shopping, zoos or amusement parks.

This has not been a problem until this year. Pa has a new wife. Wife has kids.
Mimi doesn't have a BOYFRIEND, MUCH LESS A HUSBAND, and one kid, Queen B. But, because I am Mimi of the Year, I chose to go to support one of my greatest earthly joys on her special day DESPITE THE TRAUMA I was going to have to endure.


All generals know you must have a researched battle plan before you enter the theatre of action. So, Mimi began to use strategy and a cunning plan to win, YES, WIN THIS SORTIE FOR ALL GRANDMOTHERS OF AMERICA. That is, those grandmothers whose ex-husbands show up with a new wife. Am I making my point?

1. Plan all escape routes
2. Plan that family P will not be in same vehicle as family Beachy

With that solved it was time for action of a different kind. Battle Dress Uniforms or BDU's.

I went in a store where the lady knows me well. There were a couple of other shoppers in there...GREAT. BACKUP is GOOD.

I said, "Storelady (name disguised to protect her)I need emergency help. Ex-husband is bringing new wife to birthday function for the Princess. I DON'T want him back, but I gotta look better than she does."

The other ladies in the store got all in a tizzy and said "Yes. Yes you do. We know just what you are talking about."

So, thus began the race of tops, bottoms, necklaces, earrings....you get the drift. If my makeup had been with me they would have done that, too. I tried on, discarded, tried on, discarded for about 20 minutes until they felt they had two reasonable options. Both were on sale.

I left with a sack of goodies and instructions on how to wear what with which jewelry, perfume and lipstick color.

Beachy Mimi reporting for battle.

The Next Day.

The natives were restless and circling the area in scouting positions. Someone spied the enemy and said "sighting". Everyone ran and got into place and the P family walks in.

In wanting to keep this a sweet, precious blog, let's just say pretend granny wore RED PUFFY VEST WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPE SHIRT AND CROCS. AND A VERY SWEET SMILE. She had no idea she had just been trounced and beaten like an old dusty rug.

I did my private little victory dance and new wife followed me around all day. She still thinks we can be BFF's. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo

The MAN

THE Man...he has not called.
The Man...he has not called at all.
Beachy Mimi is so sad.
Actually, Beachy Mimi is good and p*ed, err MAD.

The MAN was given every opportunity to adore Beachy Mimi. I mean, what's not to love?

It couldn't be my age. The MAN is 10 years older than me. Besides, age is in your mind. I didn't see too many other Mimi's parasailing with their grandchildren.

Perhaps it was my love for spa activities and pampering. I thought I concealed that from him pretty well.

Could it be my OCD personality? Surely not. I don't think he has conversed with QUEEN B.

The Parental Unit offered to introduce me to "a nice boy from church". It just so happens that the "boy" is 6'6", and 350 pounds. Beachy Mimi could be suffocated. I'm just sayin...

Now I realize from my earlier post that God is just protecting me from something worse on down the line. But Peeps, Beachy Mimi's heart is TENDER, and CRUSHED, and BRUISED, and BLEEDING, and BROKEN, and STOMPED ON. There has been is liquid streaming from my eye cavaties that have nothing to do with allergies. I'm sucking my thumb again. By morning I will be under the bed . Oh the DRAMA!!

Someone out there wants a shy dinner companion to listen to all his golf exploits and trophies he has won. Beachy Mimi is shy and timid hush B, and not overpowering in the least... Beachy Mimi is so docile, and sweet, and kind...hush, B.

A New Beginning

I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
***UPDATED***

Time's Up!! I'll announce the random winner in a little bit!!!!

Oh yes, Peeps, I am. Starting today. The New Normal Life of Beachy Mimi, begins. Chapter 1. Very appropriate that it is Sunday, The Lord's Day, to start over, regroup, reassign and refocus. And I'm going to do it with gusto, and all the Power of Christ to back me. And go forward IN HIS HOLY NAME.

I couldn't reach my own hiney to kick myself, so some of my good Peeps were only too glad to kick it for me.

OPPORTUNITIES, they are telling me, ARE ASTRONOMICAL. GET OUT THERE AND FIND THEM.

So, here I go. Armed with the Word of God, The Holy Spirit, and His Loving Arms to hold me up and protect me. Woo Hoo!

Monday will be my day to do Random Acts of Kindness to get someone to have a better day.

And, so YOU, my Peeps, will have a better day, how about a giveaway to Amazon.com!!!

Just leave a comment telling me what random act you have done for someone and you will be entered in the random drawing for a $100. gift certificate. Not Bad!!!!

Just enter once, please. And I hope your day will be super productive spreading helpfulness, kindness and love to the masses.

You Rock!! All of you!

Something

I think maybe two people noticed I didn't post yesterday so I promised them I would post about something today.

Something.

Not trying to be a smartie or anything (heh heh), but my mind is a total blank. Actually, that isn't true. My mind is not blank, it is in a dither.

The Pacific Wedding is in the MORNING at 9am (whoever heard of that), The Queen is gone on a mini-vacation, my waxing appointment was canceled, "Ted" was supposed to call for a date this weekend (and hasn't), and I'm trying to get my ducks in a row so I can slip off to Florida in
TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I'm just kinda in the dumps.

I know, whining is not a pretty thing. Anyone getting ready to go to Florida has no right to be in the dumps.

So, I'm going to Sonic to get my coke, meditate for 30 minutes, and come up with something to blog about tomorrow.

Have a wonderful evening, my Peeps.

Moving On

The move is over! Over in the sense that I have stuff in the garage to put away and stuff in storage I may never see again.

I'm out of the house. It is a great feeling. I think it is called CLOSURE.

Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Life will now find a new normal and I can hardly wait to see what God has planned.

A big THANK YOU to PeepOne. When the packing and memories were overwhelming, I left to go breathe and she kept right on going. It is very much to her credit that we did this in three days. Wow. Friends are priceless.

Now for the real stuff. Didn't remove the "surprises". Oops. Left a couple more. Heh Heh

A little history might be in order. I have known Pacific since we both were 5. All through school we sat in ABC order in classes. He was A and I was B so we sat together EVERY DAY for 12 years. We developed a fantastic friendship growing up together.

The marriage didn't survive, but the friendship is still intact. All the little fun things I did at the house will be viewed by him with a chuckle. I didn't really do them to be evil, but to remind him we are still friends and I can poke at my friend.

Hey P, if you are reading this.........check in the freezer for your underwear.........