Lost In Translation

Mr. Wonderful tells me that most people have trouble understanding his English with his very pronounced accent. I haven't had any trouble so far...

However, we are finding that some words are just...different in different countries.

A little background...

I told you Mr. Wonderful has made it his personal quest to "enhance" (in his opinion) my eating habits.

From the beginning of our dating, he has loved taking me to the grocery store and showing me all the things he thinks I should try. He also tells me hilarious stories about how difficult grocery shopping was for him when he first came to the USA.

He gets much entertainment from taking me to ethnic grocery stores to point out "delicacies" from other countries.

On this particular day, we were at the local market looking for something to snack on.

Oh, we were in my little Smart car which is a different color than his. We do this to confuse his friends to our great amusement (hey, we are old and have to create out own entertainment).

Mr. Wonderful thought he would love some cheese. We walked over to the cheese cooler and he looked through a gazillion different kinds of cheese. Who knew there was more than Velveeta?

He found some nasty looking stuff and pronounced it "EXCELLENT" and wonderful with biscuits. OoooKaaaaay.

I told him to check out and I would go get the biscuits and meet him at the front of the store. I love me some hot biscuits and butter.

As we walk out to the car, Mr. Wonderful says, "I'll just put this in your boot."

What?

Come again?

I must mention that I had on my skinny jeans and my Fabulous Frye Boots I Love And Make Me Look Taller.

BM: "You are going to put that in my BOOT?

MR. W: "Yes. Your package, too."

BM: "Sorry. But there is no way you are putting that nasty cheese in MY boot."

Mr. W: Throws me a look of panic..."But it is all wrapped in paper and will not leak"

BM: "Nope. Not going to happen"

Mr. W: "May I ask why?"

BM: "May I ask why you want to eat cheese that has been carried in my shoes?"

Mr. W: Bends over laughing. Has to hold on to the car...laughing so hard. Tears streaming down his face...laughing so hard.

BM: Frowns.

Mr. W: Beachy Mimi, a BOOT is the back end of your car.

Not here in Chaos, Mr. Wonderful. Whatever.

He snickers all the way to my house and I'm trying not to giggle.

We get in the kitchen and I asked:

BM: " Do you like your biscuits hot or cold?"

Mr. W: "Oh, just out of the package is okay."

BM: "Huh? You eat cheese with with raw biscuit dough?" I pull out a can of Grand's to show him.

Mr. W: "What is THAT?"

BM: "Biscuits."

Mr. W: "No, no! Biscuits are little cookie/cracker things."

Oops. Again, not in Chaos, USA.

We are working on communication.