Some Answers To Your Question (s)

Someone or two actually asked me a question!!! I am so excited.

So, I'm going to stick some general information about our trip in this post.

First, this is a typical African Cow. I put this in for Queen B and The Princess since they love cows now. The cows just graze on the side of the road because people have stolen the fencing materials that keep them confined. That material is usually sold to someone else, or used on someone's house. I'm not judging. Just reporting.

On the Devil Monkey. I did not provoke it. I smiled at it and did not have beer to offer the little sot. I do not produce good monkey karma.

About the food. There are some wonderful grocery stores that are similar to Publix in many towns. Smaller towns have small town grocery stores. Tiny places have a general store/post office/gas pump.

There are many great restaurants with every kind of food you can imagine (except Mexican). We were "camping" so much we chose to do our own food because Mr. Wonderful wanted to do it (he grew up that way) and there is a grill at most every
place we stayed.

We went to the grocery store everyday because they make fresh bread all through the day EVERYDAY and the fresh fruit is abundant. The potatoes are similar to the gold
buttery tasting ones you can get here, but they are a different variety and so clean and good. The meat...lets just say I ate lots of things and they always had chicken.

This is the typical taxi service that runs to the communities that have no transportation. You never ever ever want to ride in one of these. Find a yellow taxi. I kid you not, we saw 23 people unload from one of these. They had little kids stuffed under the rows of bench seats and people in laps of other people. No air conditioning in these. They never signal. They pull off or on the road on a whim. Gotta watch carefully!

My photos are refusing to upload so I'll stop for now. More later!

Thanks for reading.

Forget the Flip Flops...My Teeth Are GNASHING!

I know The Queen B and I share some Peeps.

Well, actually, she had the Peeps and I just lured them over here to read Beachy Mimi.

There are few subjects we won't tackle in public...but there are a few.

B is a super young woman despite mistakes made my her mama during her life.

I haven't commented much on the LaP adoption because I felt it was their story to tell until I get my hands on her and take over as I have fought to do with The Princess heh heh Believe me, The Princess is a much more well rounded individual due to her Mimi influence.

While The Palace is choosing to take the high road in this lastest setback, Beachy Mimi's road is a little bit lower down and not paved, so basically I can say what I want.

God is in control. That is the basis of my life. I know that He can change situations in an instant if He chooses.

Throughout all my years involved with churches and working with people, I have run in to a few that seem to forget they were "called" by God and in fact, they are NOT God.
A MINOR POINT THAT TOTALLY CHANGES THE FOCUS OF A MINISTRY.

Please joing me in praying for LaP's safety and for the one who has decided no more adoptions will occur for any reason.

God started this whole thing...and He will be faithful to complete it. In His Time.

So, I can have my temper fit, rant and rave, but God still has a time schedule, and since He is the Boss of me, I respect (though maybe not understand) His timing.

I also know that whatever He has in store for LaP is better than anything we would do on our own.

Greetings from the Sand

It is a study in FRUSTRATION to try to get anything posted from the Love Shack. The internet service flicks on and off...mostly off.

Still in Florida with PU and the Sibling and Wife. Wife is an excellent cook so I manage to be...elsewhere when cooking time comes. I clean up. With Sibling supervising. It's just the older brother-younger sister thing.

We are watching a 20 hour marathon Western from the '70's for our entertainment. Yeah.

G. calls everyday. I'm thinking of giving him a small chance through Valentine's Day because there is no time to cultivate another relationship between now and then..

He did try to appease me by telling me I had lips like Angelina Jolie. Hahahahahhehehehehehehhohohohohohohohhahahaha. Of course I choose to believe him!

I expect a big welcome home and big Valentine's hoopla. If he doesn't deliver...adios fungus toes!

Sorry, Evil Beachy Mimi just appeared for a moment.

The Post Was Removed To Protect...ME!

If you are a daily (not so much lately) of Beachy Mimi, you will notice that the post before this one has been deleted. For a reason.

It seems that G. is still in the picture so I had to erase all the evidence.

I don't have a New Year's Eve Date. Bummer.

Don't Play With Scissors

Have I ever mentioned what a klutz I am? I didn't think so.

I am an accident waiting for a place to happen.

As we have been cleaning and redecorating the Love Shack, I had the occasion to open a box. I used these.

BIG MISTAKE! BIG. HUGE. (sorry for the bad photography...I'm injured)
I KNOW. Terrible isn't it?

Because of the location of the cut and poor first-aid skillz on my part...I had to go to Urgent Care to get it glued/butterflied shut.

After I gave my life history...there were at least 15 different pages to sign and put in my newly made chart.


I thought this was a little over-kill...


I was the only patient in the whole complex. I don't think they were going to lose me. However, I do think they were excellent and very professional.

At least it gets me out of doing the dishes. I get to sit on the balcony and watch this...

The Bald Guy

I was minding my own Beachy Mimi business this morning...PeepOne and PU were downstairs doing who knows what.

I hopped in the shower and as I dried off and was partially dressed...I walked out of the bathroom (the one with the clear glass door) to find a bald guy in my bedroom.
THOUGHTS THAT RAN THROUGH MY MIND:

1. Oh God! Thank you! There is a bald guy in my bedroom!

2. Oh God! There is a bald guy in my bedroom.

3. He was not looking at my eyes.

I might add at this point that the bald guy got a good look at THE GIRLS in all their nudie glory.

BALD GUY RESPONSE:

Oh God! I am so glad you have the rest of your clothes on.


Hahahahahah

His poor retinas will be forever seared with the vision of my GIRLS.

How did he get past PeepOne and PU? Good question. I asked it myself.

Long story short...he was the exterminator. No one saw him go up the stairs.

Afterwards, I asked him if I could take his picture and he said okay. I told him he would be on the internet.

He said, "Oh wow! Will I be on Spacebook?" (I don't think there is a Spacebook. I think it is MySpace or Facebook).

I replied "NO...I have a blog and you won't ever see your picture."

He said, "Wow, can I write about this on my Spacebook page?"

I said, "Sure, go for it."

He said, "Can I embellish it?

Go for it, Sonny. Somehow I think this might end up in Penthouse letters.

This is how I ended my day of trauma...

Did I mention he was VERY young?

My Little Cans of Whoop-Bottom

Sometimes, a gal just needs to carry a can of WHOOP-A** in her purse.

I KNOW! Shocking isn't it.

I personally have two cans. Their names are PeepOne and PeepTwo. They get RILED if somebody gets up in my business and I love them for it.

So DETRACTOR, move on or I will sic them on you.

To the rest of my Peeps, I love you and will be back tomorrow!!

Bye Bye Bye

I'm thinking this will be my last post as Beachy Mimi.

The problem is, I started out to be anonymous but that didn't work out exactly like I thought it would. Too many Peeps know BM.

BM has officially embarassed the family.

So, starting Monday, I will begin blogging with my new name and be anonymous.

I'm thinking my new, anonymous name will be Meachy Bimi. Or, Eachyta Imiba.

What sounds good to you, Peeps?

Getting Older is a Gas!

I have shared with you Peeps some of the...issues you will be facing as you age.
All these are a part of life and really not to be dreaded. It does help to be informed, however, so 1) it won't be such a shock to you when faced with your changing body, and, 2) a cruel reminder that you, in fact, ARE AGING.

Gravitational pulls, menopause, hormones,uncontrolled hair growth, achieving O's...all are topics we have addressed in the past. Probably some more I can't think of right now.

While here in my sickbed, I've had lots of time to meditate, ponder, study, think, pray and be consumed by more totally useless information that I feel I must pass to you. (PUN INTENDED)

One of the WORST signs of an aging body is...gas. Not the kind you pay $4 a gallon at the pump, but the kind your traitorous body manufactures.

Some Peeps have this worse than others, probably depending on diet and exercise, but I KNOW. I KNOW THE SECRETS, PEEPS. We ALL have it in some form.

Not having raised boys or be the grandmother of a boy, I was quite...unprepared for this untimely, deadly, embarassing and ever present need to pass it.

Kids do it and cackle. Men look at it like burping...the louder and bigger the better. As a teacher, I was aware of this in some form, but NEVER thought it would be applicable to me.

I'm not in the medical profession, not even a Health Educator from WalMart, so my information is based more on experiences of others and not scientific data or Google.

The digestive system slows somewhat as we get older. The body betrays...YES BETRAYS us at the worst possible moments.

Maybe some examples will help: you know you have a critical situation when you have to NAME them.

The first one I will call THE BOMB. It drops unexpectedly with one giant boom! The most terrifying thing about bombing is that you have NO CONTROL over when and where you drop it. You might or might not be walking across your office floor with all secretaries present when it happens. There is just not a lot of recovery from a BOMB. Your best bet it to just keep walking and hope that someone else there thinks THEY dropped it. Everybody just gets real busy and the whole thing gets ignored.

Church is another place where an attack can occur. Especially if you have been sitting for awhile. The second I will call THE AUTOMATIC RIFLE.
The worst thing about the RIFLE is the duration. It comes out with a POP-POP-POP-POP in a seemingly neverending series of several. They may have a silencer (that is, come and go quietly), but more than likely at least ONE will escape.

This little gift is also a surprise but if you are clever and aware you may be able to drop the hymnal, pop your knees or other appendage to camouflage the sound.

The third is the worst.THE TRUMPET. There is just hardly ANY recovery for THE TRUMPET. Your best bet is blame a child with you or look at your husband like "why did you do that?"

NEVER ADMIT TO A TRUMPET. Never let them see you sweat.

TRAVEL GAS, again, not at the pump, is also bad. If you are quick you may be able to walk around when you stop, fake bending (dangerous) and tying a shoelace or be the one who pumps the fuel into the vehicle. This buys you time to slip it out slowly without witnesses.

A Very Important Rule is YOU CAN NOT DO IT IN THE LADIES RESTROOM. Especially if someone else is in there with you. Ladies never admit or pass in front of other ladies in the restroom. It just isn't done unless you are Heathen or 2 years old.
TRAVEL GAS gives you a little more leeway and space if you play your cards right. And, if you can escape from your travel mates.

This one is...awful, terrible, horrible and funny at the same time. You married ladies know what I am talking about. It invariably happens at the most inopportune moment. You think you have it made and the husband has been so blinded with lust he didn't hear it. WRONG. You are busted. The longer you are married the less chance you have of escaping notice or comment. S*XY, huh! I guess we can name that COITUS COMBUSTUS. Talk about ruining a moment.

Well, I guess I have covered the basics.

I obviously need to get well FAST...before I think of something else.

Have a pleasant day!

Reporting for Duty, General

One of my greatest earthly joys is , The Princess. She is having a birthday week blowout in the days leading up to the Palooza, itself.

The Princess loves to be around all her family and likes them to go with her to birthday celebrations whether they be dog shows, trips to the beach, camping, shopping, zoos or amusement parks.

This has not been a problem until this year. Pa has a new wife. Wife has kids.
Mimi doesn't have a BOYFRIEND, MUCH LESS A HUSBAND, and one kid, Queen B. But, because I am Mimi of the Year, I chose to go to support one of my greatest earthly joys on her special day DESPITE THE TRAUMA I was going to have to endure.


All generals know you must have a researched battle plan before you enter the theatre of action. So, Mimi began to use strategy and a cunning plan to win, YES, WIN THIS SORTIE FOR ALL GRANDMOTHERS OF AMERICA. That is, those grandmothers whose ex-husbands show up with a new wife. Am I making my point?

1. Plan all escape routes
2. Plan that family P will not be in same vehicle as family Beachy

With that solved it was time for action of a different kind. Battle Dress Uniforms or BDU's.

I went in a store where the lady knows me well. There were a couple of other shoppers in there...GREAT. BACKUP is GOOD.

I said, "Storelady (name disguised to protect her)I need emergency help. Ex-husband is bringing new wife to birthday function for the Princess. I DON'T want him back, but I gotta look better than she does."

The other ladies in the store got all in a tizzy and said "Yes. Yes you do. We know just what you are talking about."

So, thus began the race of tops, bottoms, necklaces, earrings....you get the drift. If my makeup had been with me they would have done that, too. I tried on, discarded, tried on, discarded for about 20 minutes until they felt they had two reasonable options. Both were on sale.

I left with a sack of goodies and instructions on how to wear what with which jewelry, perfume and lipstick color.

Beachy Mimi reporting for battle.

The Next Day.

The natives were restless and circling the area in scouting positions. Someone spied the enemy and said "sighting". Everyone ran and got into place and the P family walks in.

In wanting to keep this a sweet, precious blog, let's just say pretend granny wore RED PUFFY VEST WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPE SHIRT AND CROCS. AND A VERY SWEET SMILE. She had no idea she had just been trounced and beaten like an old dusty rug.

I did my private little victory dance and new wife followed me around all day. She still thinks we can be BFF's. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo