August 1, August 11, I got confused...

Well Peeps, I'm a little behind schedule for starting back.

But HERE I AM!

Thank you for being patient and all that. This has been the busiest summer in some time.


I'm currently in Florida with the PU for a last summer fling.

One reason I'm late...I've met Mr. Wonderful!!!

I've never given much credence to love at first sight...but WOW. He's the REAL DEAL. More info on him later...(I've got to give you some reason to come back).

It's good. It's juicy. It's romantic. AND he has an accent...

BM's Heart Is Overflowing

If you have not seen the picture of The King and La Princesa, go. GO NOW. Check out the delight on their faces at seeing each other. I can hardly wait to get my hands on La Princesa.

I made an appointment to start getting my shots with the idea of treking to Guatemala sometime this summer. Oh my.

Thank you for all your shoe suggestions. Zappos should have most of you on retainer because they profited from your advice.

I'm on a leopard sandel kick and I found lots to choose from.

In my SIZE!!! Happy Dance inserted here.

I have talked to J. on the phone EVERYDAY and sometimes twice.

That's like...almost normal.

We have another date scheduled for the weekend and I am beside myself trying to decide what to wear. I know it doesn't really matter, because he just looks me in the eye and smiles. However, being a female, it matters to ME.

I've done my nails, tanned, got my hair colored, plucked and practiced with some new makeup. Is that pitiful or what!!

I admit it. I'm excited.

I've already proved to him I'm a dork and he didn't run away.

We were having one of our crazy conversations, and I said, "J. You are the Smack-Daddy."

Silence on the other end of the phone. A cough. A chuckle. And we hung up for the night.

I'm talking to B a little later and I told her what I'd said to J.

MOTHER!! IT'S MAC-DADDY NOT SMACK-DADDY!

So much for trying to be cool.

I had to call him back and laugh at myself for calling him SMACK-DADDY.

He was very sweet and thought it was cute. Bless him.

Now and forever his name will be SMACK-DADDY. Did I tell you he has a great sense of humor?

Shoe Shopping

It is a well documented fact that Beachy Mimi used to love to shop for shoes. If I found a comfortable pair, I might or might not attempt to acquire them in every color.

I have to confess that I even bought a style once that I adored in seven colors. One color was even faded on the left shoe from sitting in the window. I got it anyway, thinking if I just kept walking no one would notice the shoes were not exactly the same shade.

No one did.

I have matured since then.

A little.

Now, I mostly wear flip-flops. ALL THE TIME. WITH EVERYTHING. It's all about the comfort of my size 5 feet.

No more colored shoes, except for an animal print or something. It's just too much trouble.

If it is too cold for the flip-flops, I usually go with some Sketchers or something similar.

It is very difficult to find size 5 shoes.

Now that I am tentatively dating J (I guess one date really doesn't make a relationship) I must improve my wardrobe and shoe selection.

Last night I wore these really cute black open toed shoes with a three inch heel.
TORTURE!! But, I did look taller, which was the objective.

I couldn't walk in them, I had to shuffle.

Not the best impression to make on a first date.

I think I pulled it off because he didn't seem to notice my shoes.

I just know I can't get away with that twice without a major shoe malfunction which might or might not end up with me flat on my face or in a heap at his feet.

I really am not into the gladiator look that is popular right now. That style makes my feet look...fat.

So, Peeps, what are you wearing on your feet these days when you aren't bumming around in yoga pants? Any suggestions?

I just can't do the three inch heel strappy sandal because it forces me on my tippy-toes which is not a good look for me.

Help!!! I think my dating future depends on it.

The Date Is Over

And all is well. J was a very charming companion with a headful of black hair. I think he might color it.

I laughed all through dinner and didn't snort once! Didn't spit on him either.

Yep, he is younger. Looks younger, too.

Very well groomed which is a biggie with me.

Very smart guy. I don't think he likes the beach, though. He likes the lake. And sleeping under the stars. In a tent. Hmmmm.

I think he might be alot of fun, but I may never hear from him again either.

Although he has e-mailed me twice since I got home.

Whew, I'm a wreck. Too much work.

Another Date!! "sigh"

Peeps, I know this is getting old for you.

It's just that I can't help sharing.

This one is a year younger than me, so that makes me....A COUGAR! Heh Heh

Hmmm.

This guy is J. J has one of the funniest personalities I have met in a long time.
Not funny weird, funny as in "ha ha".

He is also not bald, but he does have some facial hair so that might be a plus.
Of course, I do too, but I'll take care of that before tonight!!

He has a degree in Criminal Justice (Beachy Mimi biting knuckles). I'll have to remember not to twitch because he probably grills people and watches for clues in their body language.

There are just so many ways I could mess this up.

He makes me laugh so hard I'm afraid I will snort. Loudly. Did I mention we are eating Mexican? I'll probably be the first woman to ever snort rice out the nose while laughing.

Now THAT'S an attractive picture.

Or, I could spit. As in laugh so hard I spit my Coke in his face. Ugh.

J is what people call "a good old boy". I am finding that Very Attractive.

I love to laugh so we'll see.... I'll report tomorrow.

To Blog, Or Not To Blog

That seems to be my mindset lately.

I need to set the pot on the stove and get cooking, or put it up in the cabinet.

I'll probably cook.

Just because I love my Peeps.

Old G. called me yesterday ( I wouldn't have answered his call, but I had taken him off my call list WEEKS ago and didn't recognize the number)

CONVERSATION:

BM: Hello?

G: Hey, this is G.

BM: G?

G: Yeah. Hey, have you been calling one of my old girlfriends and messing with her?

BM: WHAT? I don't even know your ex-girlfriends

BM: Goodbye

G: Talk to you later. (BM: don't hold your breath, G.)

Okay...are we in Junior High again? G. is old news. Very old. I've had three dates since G.

Enough of that.

If you have been following The Palace, you also know we are going to be blessed with another La Princesa. One Princess was such a gift, two will just bless my socks off!

Speaking of The Princess...I visited the building site of the new Palace, and The Princess casually asked, "Beachy Mimi, have you ever been on a 4 wheeler?"

I've seen that evil look in Queen B's eyes many times through the years.

"Why no, Princess, I've never been on a 4 wheeler."

OH MY GOODNESS!!

A bucking bronco would have been an easier ride. Up. Down. Fast. Left. Right.

A loud cackling sound could be heard through the trees and we were ducking limbs, cow patties, and other things I won't even mention (like big, gaping holes in the ground).

I never thought The Princess would abuse her Mimi in such a way...with such enjoyment, too.

I finally told her, "If I go off this thing Sister, YOU will be going with me to cushion my fall."

Of course I would NEVER do that...maybe (insert cackling, evil laugh here)

A Report From the Palace

Finally, Peeps!! I heard from the Queen.

They are doing well. The King is up to his neck in a construction project...he is in charge of the electrical (that's pretty desperate...I'm just sayin').

They had church this morning and it was very cold. They are at 8000 feet at Casa.

Someone just turned in a 3 or 4 day old little girl that was abandoned...that just breaks my heart. At least Casa is a safe place for her.

The Queen has latched on to a 7 year old boy she would like to stick in her backpack. It sounds like the toddlers are sticking to them like Velcro.

The Princess set up shop and painted fingernails for the little girls. I'm sure she was in her element.

THAT is the sum total of my info. The Queen is hoping to get a signal so she can blog soon. So far that hasn't worked out.

More updates as I receive them...

FORGET I asked about kissing on the first date. That is obviously not ever going to be a problem for me since I will never go on another date.

It was horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad (Remember that book? The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day?)

Well, this was the terrible horrible no good very bad date.

He was...Pruney. Like he had been in water too long. Maybe he's just been alive too long, not that I wish him ill or anything.

No spark, chemistry or much of anything else. He talked two solid hours about HIMSELF. That was fine, I didn't want to give him any info about Beachy Mimi.

I was praying he would go, and "poof", he suddenly remembered a birthday party he needed to attend. YAY!!

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU TO THE CAR.

Please understand that I do not in any way think I am hot stuff. No way. Not even close.

I know there is a bald guy out there somewhere that is not water-logged, a Christian and wants to meet a 50 something woman that loves the Lord and wants to have fun and share life with him.

However, since I'm not going to go on another date...I guess he will just have to find me. Keep up the prayers!

Communication Is Not His First Language

***UPDATE*** Date was AWFUL. The shortest and most boring date in the history of dating. Back to square one.



Here's the deal.

I'm trying to post regularly and keep the Peeps informed of the Palace and their escapades.

They are supposed to e-mail me and then I am to blog about everything they are doing.

Not so much.

Apparently,the Palace spokesman is the King and he speaka not so much.

King to Mimi: "Keeping it simple. Everything is fine."

THAT TELLS ME NOTHING!!!!

I need to know everything from food to the compound to the kids to the toilets and showers.

Peeps, I need information!!!

This is totally a direct retaliation for not telling them I had a date.

That is so NOT fair.

So, Peeps, EVERYTHING IS FINE according to the King and we ALL KNOW he is not even touching the surface of the scoop the Queen and Princess want to tell us.

I just know the Queen and she is dying to tell us how the demo on the "Poo-Pouri" for the bathroom went, how they slept last night, and all the new stuff they are seeing and learning.

So King? How about coughing up the computer for a bit so we can get the true picture?

As to the date, he will be here is 1 1/2 hours. I've been getting all doodied up so I will look like I'm "natural" hahahahahaha.

I told him I would stand on my front porch and if he didn't like the way I looked he could just keep on driving.

I hate dating. He does, too. Maybe that's the thing we will have in common.

Reports later.

Can you kiss on the first date? If so, how much?

Help!!!

I'll Be Back

Do your best Arnold S. imitation when you read that title. Very impressive!

Beachy Mimi is in a different location than the computer. How am I posting this??? you ask??? Don't ask complicated questions!!

However, I will be reunited with said computer in one or nine days and begin posting on a regular basis.

You know, for your daily BM.

Just thinking about your health, Peeps.

G. is long gone. J1 came along but he was a long-haul trucker that lived in his truck and I didn't think it would hold all my stuff...J2 is on the horizion but we have yet to meet. I'll keep you posted.

Dating in your "middle years" pretty much sucks.

I've Got The Power!

Yes, Peeps. I now have power to the computer and the internet.

Not for long. Maybe long enough to get this posted.

First, thank you for all the prayers on the behalf of Queen B and The Palace. They and others like them are really in a mess right now.

A tree fell on G.'s house--through the roof-- and another fell on his son's car--breaking the windshield and denting the hood.

This is sort of a NWA version of a hurricane or something. We get some of these ice storms about every 10 years or so and our infrastructure is just not equipped to cope with all the damage.

This has taught me a good lesson. When I return from Florida (sorry B) I plan to fix up a disaster kit with all the necessary tape, water, tools, chainsaw?

Those of you who went through Katrina, Ike or some other natural disaster know how difficult it is for people unable to work (no work=no pay).

They all need our prayers.

Now, I wish to address another topic. G. G. and the tacky comment left by Anonymous on the NOT AGAIN! post.

Did you know that when you sign as anonymous, I can still look you up so I know who you are.

I am not being disrespectful of G. He has a great sense of humor and is still laughing over me asking to see his toes. He knows he needs some "rehabilitation" because he has been alone for 4 years. He is a happy camper and yes, I have done some very nice things for him. I just told him that Valentine's Day was his chance to really shine. I think he will probably cook for me and I think that is great.

The personal attacks? Whatever. That person doesn't know me AT ALL.

That person can also BITE ME and move on to another blog that makes them happy.

Sorry, Peeps. I wasn't even going to mention it but Evil Beachy Mimi got the best of me.

More tales from the beach later....

Running Away...The Answer to Life's Problems...

Yep, Peeps.

I've run away. To Florida. To be with the Other Crabs on the Beach.

Not a bad place to run to. The Parental Unit and the Sibling and his wife all came down together to get away from cold weather.

My internet usage is spotty at best, so my posts may not be as regular as before. Not that I've been posting every day or anything...Trying to have a dating life is time consuming. All that personal maintenance and everything.

So, have a good weekend. I'm on the beach looking for bald guys.

Not Again!!

Peeps. Beachy Mimi is just not meant to have a love interest at this time.

G. showed so much promise.

Let me tell you about the romantic date that...wasn't.

Actually, that's the problem. There is absolutely nothing to tell. We did go out to eat which was nice. We went to a movie and had to sit on the first row. And...that's all, Peeps.

No dancing, no big romance. Nada. Nothin. Blah.

In fact...get ready for this...

HE TOLD ME MY ANKLES WERE...FAT. Seriously. Remember how nice I was about his toes? Well, I think he had the beginnings of a fungus on one toenail, the jerk.

What man tells any woman she has Amish Ankles? Not a married one, that's for sure.
Nor one that wishes to continue dating on a regular basis.

Then he had the nerve to ask me if he hurt my feelings.

Well, YES! My inner two-year-old wanted to come back with a real beachy comment like..."fat ankles match your fat gut", or, "tubby tummy, you are one to talk about body parts".

However, I conducted myself like a lady and kept my mouth shut. I know. I'm a chicken, but I hate confrontation.

By the way, he is so far off the radar I don't even remember his name.

Ha. Ha. So. There.

I "Toed" You It Was Okay

I have gotten several comments and e-mails about my toe-viewing...issue. Everything from a fetish to a mental disturbance of some sort.

So, I will tell you again, Peeps, it is perfectly normal.

I have this obsession about pampering and hygiene. I know, it's a little over the top but still in the upper normal range of dysfunctional.

My purpose was two-fold. Beachy Mimi has a WACKY sense of humor. If G. could not laugh at a toe viewing, and see the wackiness of it, then he couldn't even begin to understand me.

Secondly, if his toes had been gross (believe me, if I thought they were I NEVER would have been out with him or asked to see them) that would have given me a clear indication that he was not up to the male maintenance standards that most women desire.

However, in light of this confession, I have had to promise Queen B that I would NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ask to see any other part that is not readily viewable in normal daily attire. Up to and including any other feet examinations.

So, G. is safe from inspection (maybe behind the ears?). For now at least.

He's taking me dancing this weekend and a R.O.M.A.N.T.I.C. DATE.

It has been so long since I dated, I'm not sure what that is. But G. is fun so I'm sure it will be something a little off the wall but very proper.

Details Monday.

Here We Go...2009!

Whew, life has really been hectic lately. Victor just got released from jail and
Ashley is back in the picture....no..wait...that's The Young and the Restless.

I have been so busy getting ready for Brooke and Ridge's wedding...nooooo..that's The Bold and The Beautiful.

OOPS! Someone may or may not have been watching too much tv at the Beachy house.

It is good to be back amoung the bloggyworld. I've missed you, Peeps!

The whole holiday season was much too crammed and I make a new resolution to dismantle and rebuild the whole structure for next year.

G. is still here!!! Yay! He is getting less shy and he is so sweet. We like so many similar things and laugh alot.

I actually baked an apple pie FROM SCRATCH for him. I KNOW. Amazing isn't it.
And, I fixed soup. And cornbread. G. likes cokes, too. Be still my heart.

I called The Princess to tell her about the pie and she said, "It's a miracle."
She also said, "Mimi, I thought we (she) had decided you weren't going to see G. again."

I had to do alot of fast talking to get out of trouble.

I'm still seeing him, though.

Have a great time getting back into your "normal" schedules! See you tomorrow, Peeps!

The Post Was Removed To Protect...ME!

If you are a daily (not so much lately) of Beachy Mimi, you will notice that the post before this one has been deleted. For a reason.

It seems that G. is still in the picture so I had to erase all the evidence.

I don't have a New Year's Eve Date. Bummer.

Intimidated

I am so totally intimidated by all the beautiful decorations I am seeing on other blogs. You Peeps are so creative!

Back in the day when I had a child at home, I really used to go all out on the decorating. As single Beachy Mimi? Not so much anymore.

I wanted to participate in Fuschia's cookie exchange but I'm cookie challenged, too.

But...

HOWEVER...

I HAVE SOME NEWS...

I got a call tonight from a new man named G. A date will follow I think.

I'll keep you posted. It just may be a Happy New Year!

Escape, At Last

Chomp, chomp, chew, chew. Hi, Peeps! Beachy Mimi here, eating my words about the Propane Convention.

I actually had lots of (wine) fun.

The people there were so nice. Not a snob in the bunch. Just a group of people getting together to get the requirements out of the way and having a good time while doing so. No obnoxious drunks, either, which is unusual for most conventions that are not Christ-related.

The PROPANE STYLE SHOW was precious. The ladies LOVED it. It didn't matter that the styles were...different. Everyone had a big smile and there was tons of joking and laughter.
And wine...but we won't go there.

The talent show was a hoot. Lots of country/western singing and playing. Very good sports.
The highlight of the evening was the appearance of a 70 year old fake Elvis. TOO FUNNY.
The guy next to me said, "I believe he's better than the real Elvis!" Huh? What?

One very funny note to the weekend. As parents, the desire to protect and help our children never leaves us...apparently. All mothers want to make things all-better for their children whatever their age.

Enter the Parental Unit.

PU and a friend thought they would be really cute to "set me up" with a guy my age they thought was "nice". Oh, brother.

Obviously, PU has not done much of this "setting up" because she didn't realize there needs to be RESEARCH DONE.

Oh yeah, the guy doesn't know anything about it either. They think they will introduce us and
TA DA. Instant attraction.

So, at this dinner, PU casually says, "Beachy, I want to introduce you to Urkel."

She and her match-making buddy begin to look for Urkel in the crowd. After a few minutes, someone tells her, "Urkel left. His 22 year old girlfriend is having a baby."

Okay. That's just wrong on so many levels.

I gave the PU the "stare".

ME: "What are you up to?"

PU: "I just wanted you to meet Urkel. He's a nice boy."

Translation. Nice boy=man that says hello to an 85 year old and holds the door open for her.

ME: "That's up for debate."

PU: "Well, I think he's nice."

ME: "Did the whole part about the baby and 22 year old girlfriend just whiz on by?"

PU: "Well, I didn't know."

ME: "Did you think of maybe...CHECKING?"

PU: "No. He's never mentioned having a girlfriend."

ME: "Please, NO MORE HELP."

Now I remember why parents don't get to pick the spouse.

The MAN

THE Man...he has not called.
The Man...he has not called at all.
Beachy Mimi is so sad.
Actually, Beachy Mimi is good and p*ed, err MAD.

The MAN was given every opportunity to adore Beachy Mimi. I mean, what's not to love?

It couldn't be my age. The MAN is 10 years older than me. Besides, age is in your mind. I didn't see too many other Mimi's parasailing with their grandchildren.

Perhaps it was my love for spa activities and pampering. I thought I concealed that from him pretty well.

Could it be my OCD personality? Surely not. I don't think he has conversed with QUEEN B.

The Parental Unit offered to introduce me to "a nice boy from church". It just so happens that the "boy" is 6'6", and 350 pounds. Beachy Mimi could be suffocated. I'm just sayin...

Now I realize from my earlier post that God is just protecting me from something worse on down the line. But Peeps, Beachy Mimi's heart is TENDER, and CRUSHED, and BRUISED, and BLEEDING, and BROKEN, and STOMPED ON. There has been is liquid streaming from my eye cavaties that have nothing to do with allergies. I'm sucking my thumb again. By morning I will be under the bed . Oh the DRAMA!!

Someone out there wants a shy dinner companion to listen to all his golf exploits and trophies he has won. Beachy Mimi is shy and timid hush B, and not overpowering in the least... Beachy Mimi is so docile, and sweet, and kind...hush, B.

Beachy Mimi is in......Like

Friday night was the big date!!! It went so well. We actually went to a restaurant and watched a movie. He held my hand and I thought that was so sweet. A real gentleman. We found out we eat fajitas the same way and our favorite food is a good hamburger. Not a bad start.

I'm not sure what happened to the post yesterday with all the spacing and crazy colors. You internets are the queens of the six word memoir. Maybe one day we should have a six word festival and EVERYONE post in six word sentences. It would be pretty funny.

I'm just flat out pooped tonight. With all the primping, plucking, shaving, waxing, shampooing, conditioning, luster, paste and hairspray OH I smeel goooooood.

Had to choose cute undies (not for him to see, but for me to feel sexy) and then just the right outfit with black strappy sexy sandles with my pink toes and nails. At this point I really having to hurry up to my face and finish that.

'well...horror of horrors...I had a CHIN HAIR. Just wait girls..as you approach the pre-menopause. You'll develop skills where you can whip that tweezie out, plucked and gone in .2 sec. Unless they are in multiples and they you will have to be a little more discreet. I't going to happen, I'm just sayin!

But you are all beautiful and I love your hearts. I ache with you and you have to make hard decisions because I've been there in alot of your cases. Well, you've got a Mimi in your corner to pray for you.