Reporting for Duty, General

One of my greatest earthly joys is , The Princess. She is having a birthday week blowout in the days leading up to the Palooza, itself.

The Princess loves to be around all her family and likes them to go with her to birthday celebrations whether they be dog shows, trips to the beach, camping, shopping, zoos or amusement parks.

This has not been a problem until this year. Pa has a new wife. Wife has kids.
Mimi doesn't have a BOYFRIEND, MUCH LESS A HUSBAND, and one kid, Queen B. But, because I am Mimi of the Year, I chose to go to support one of my greatest earthly joys on her special day DESPITE THE TRAUMA I was going to have to endure.

All generals know you must have a researched battle plan before you enter the theatre of action. So, Mimi began to use strategy and a cunning plan to win, YES, WIN THIS SORTIE FOR ALL GRANDMOTHERS OF AMERICA. That is, those grandmothers whose ex-husbands show up with a new wife. Am I making my point?

1. Plan all escape routes
2. Plan that family P will not be in same vehicle as family Beachy

With that solved it was time for action of a different kind. Battle Dress Uniforms or BDU's.

I went in a store where the lady knows me well. There were a couple of other shoppers in there...GREAT. BACKUP is GOOD.

I said, "Storelady (name disguised to protect her)I need emergency help. Ex-husband is bringing new wife to birthday function for the Princess. I DON'T want him back, but I gotta look better than she does."

The other ladies in the store got all in a tizzy and said "Yes. Yes you do. We know just what you are talking about."

So, thus began the race of tops, bottoms, necklaces, get the drift. If my makeup had been with me they would have done that, too. I tried on, discarded, tried on, discarded for about 20 minutes until they felt they had two reasonable options. Both were on sale.

I left with a sack of goodies and instructions on how to wear what with which jewelry, perfume and lipstick color.

Beachy Mimi reporting for battle.

The Next Day.

The natives were restless and circling the area in scouting positions. Someone spied the enemy and said "sighting". Everyone ran and got into place and the P family walks in.

In wanting to keep this a sweet, precious blog, let's just say pretend granny wore RED PUFFY VEST WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPE SHIRT AND CROCS. AND A VERY SWEET SMILE. She had no idea she had just been trounced and beaten like an old dusty rug.

I did my private little victory dance and new wife followed me around all day. She still thinks we can be BFF's. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo


Pattik said...

PeepOne here. PUFFY VEST, CROCS!
I can't take it. I know who won
the fashion show, no doubt.
You really are a wonderful Mimi.
It is amazing what we will endure
for our tiny peeps. Proud
of you!!!

Theresa said...

I know exactly how you feel.

I can't ellaborate.

Just sayin'

Good for you, Mimi!

a Tonggu Momma said...

I can't imagine how difficult that was, but I do know that your granddaughter's lack of awareness of the difficulty will mean the world to her when she's older.

(Did that make sense... or did I just ramble senselessly again???)

Mari said...

Thank goodness I was not drinking coffee! Mimi I just love you. You rock!

The BFF thing - ummmmm NO! Smile and get along - sure - for The Princess. But BFFs? Negatory!

3girlsmom said...

You would look better that she does with your pj's on. You got that one in the bag.
And kudos to her for helping you out with the puffy vest and crocs. Ew.
BFF? No. I agree.
I hope you realize how awesome you are for sucking it up for the Princess. She will realize it one day and love you even more for it.

Susan said...

That was like a spin on Pretty Woman. Hilarious!!!
What in the world would make her believe you guys would be BFFs?
Nice job on the win.

Tammy said...

BFF? Is she crazy, now I know this woman cannot be THAT crazy.

Poor, poor BM. I am more than certain that you rocked the outfit hands down.

She really wore a puffy vest with Crocs? Was she going hunting later?

Joan said...

I am there right with you. My ex's new wife asked my daughter to see pictures of me. (I think she forgot we had met at least 3 times before.I even said hello and wished her a Happy Thanksgiving.)Any way she proceeded to tell my daughter that it would be 'cool' to be friends with me. ('cool' is the only adjective she knows.)

I agree be polite for the Princess, but BFF is a no go.

Thanks for keeping it real!
God bless.

Jules from "The Roost" said...

Girl I can tell you right now that YOU won that one! I never doubted it for a moment though. And I bet she doesn't have your fun personality either:) Poor ole thing.

RR Mama said...

I have a feeling that no matter what you what you had on that day or how you acted at the party, that the Princess would love you regardless. You will always win hands down for simply just being you!

Lindsay said...

Way to go! Congrats on the big win.. and very sportsman like to do your victory dance in private :-)

Fuschia said...

I'm proud of you for doing your thing, YOUR way! For twelve years after my parents divorce, they wouldn't be in the same building as one Christmas, birthday's, not even for my grandmother's funeral! It was always very tough for me and as my kids started coming up, hard on them, too!
I know that it means a lot to the Princess and QueenB for you two to be amicable.
Now, as far as BFF's...yeah, no! RedDaddy's ex-girlfriend came to our wedding and kept hanging out with the wedding party! I don't have one candid shot without her in it. All day, I kept thinking, "What is she doing here?!" (It has made for good teasing material over the years, though!)

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

You go, girl. Yay for your victory.

And, puffy vest? RED puffy vest? Who wears that? (I'm sure she's very nice ... didn't mean to sound ugly.)

And, absolutely not, can you be friends. DUH.

Queen B said...

Um. All the commenters that think The Princess isn't aware...Yeah, right.

Seriously, thank you for putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation for us. I know that it was not fun.

And we will be re-thinking all future birthday celebrations...

Heather said...

Whoo-hoo! I knew you'd score a victory. At least pretend Granny has enough sense about her to know the war has already been won by you. Remember history and don't let her fool you!

Btw,Crocs= wrong.

Christy said...

Good for you, Mimi. It will get easier as time goes on - it did for my mom.

Dawn said...

Woohoo, Beachy! No matter what you wore, you had victory clinched just with your attitude. The Princess is unaware of the drama now, but in time she will look back and be so proud of what you did for her sake.

BFF... Ummm... NO. My advice, watch your back when and ex's new love wants to be pals. Nothin' good there.


Anonymous said...

You go, Mimi!

cndymkr / jean said...

What a tough thing. It's hard enough to know she exists but then to have to see her? Not easy for either of you. But BFF? No way.

You did the right thing for your granddaughter and no matter what you wear you are the best!

linda said...

My ex's wife wanted to be BFF. I did all the right things for many years so my daughter would not be influenced. I put on my "grin and bear it" face. I did birthday parties and all the rest. But now daughter is an adult. And she knows. She has experienced his worthlessness. Who gave her away at her wedding? My Dad.

Beachy Mimi, it isn't easy. But it can be done. And you will be better for it. I promise.

Amy said...

Oh how I wish I could have been there! You rocked the house, I'm sure Mimi!

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee

You rock girl! (And sending you a big ol' Tennessee hug.)

BFF...nah, that's not gonna happen. Oh, and thanks to all of your cheerleaders at the shop!

I appreciated what Linda wrote...she's been there, done that.

Wendi said...

At ease....You won!

And crocs?


Rebeckah said...

This was so funny. It totally made my day : ). I am glad you can out dress that girl. It was nice of you to let her follow you around. Of course she would want to be your new best friend. You are, after all, the funnest thing since sliced bread : ).