The DAVIDA

About every four years of my adult life, I have moved to a different location. We always looked at it as an adventure and made some wonderful friends along the way.

One particular mid-size town was actually a big place to us. We considered it a big place if there was more than one church to choose from.

This particular time we chose our church because it was the lesser of two strange choices. The pastor had been there a LONG time. So long, in fact, that he quit preparing for his sermons and just got up and winged it every week. He was deaf and thought nothing of calling a member out if you whispered something and he could read your lips. Bless him. As he got older, he also lost his...confidentiality. Not to be bad or anything, he just forgot he was not supposed to tell.


During our Wednesday night services, he would lead our congregation in prayer and tell every health condition of anyone...from ED to blindness to amputation...I kid you not. Most of us learned NOT to tell him anything we didn't want the whole church to know.

During these years I had to have a hysterectomy. I was pretty young. I chose NOT to tell him because the whole thing was just a pretty private issue.

He found out. Someone ratted me out. The night before surgery he burst into my hospital room (one hour away) and yelled, "Let's pray!" He prayed, did an about face and left the room, never speaking to us.

After recovery, I went back to church and he ANNOUNCED FROM THE PULPIT ABOUT MY SURGERY AND THAT I TRIED TO KEEP IT FROM HIM. Because I was so young I was mortified.

I tell you this story to set the stage for an interesting phenomenon that occurred as a result of his judgemental and critical spirit. Many in the congregation were judgemental, too. They had been conditioned for about 33 years and it was all many of them knew.

There were three girls that learned this behavior at their parents' knee. Anytime ANY kind of "worldly behavior"( like going to a movie or smiling during church) was mentioned, these three girls would whip their heads IN UNISON and stare at the three of us. It was so obvious and we would get so tickled at their stares. Think Dana Carvey as the Church Lady. It was a "laugh out loud" kind of funny.

Keep in mind this happened at EVERY service, EVERY week, 52 weeks a year.

We finally gave the head-whipping motion a name..."THE DAVIDA" after the ring-leader of this little group.

I learned some valuable lessons during these years. NOT to use prayer requests as a chance to gossip about someone and to respect their confidentiality. Up until this point in my life, I was probably WAY too judgemental myself. After being the recipient of "THE DAVIDA" for three years I learned not to be so fast to judge another person or their behavior without all the facts. Great lessons that have served me well.

I have absolutely no idea where I was going with this story.

Long story short, we moved. Eventually, the pastor left that congregation and moved on. They got a wonderful minister to lead them and it totally revolutionized that body of believers.

Brother Tell All was a good person suffering from burn-out. I guess that happens when a situation stays the same for years and years. Christianity is important. Serious. But I am living proof that God has a sense of humor.


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EMERGENCY NOTIFICATION TO THE PEEPS! Guess who has walked across Beachy Mimi's path?
A 56 year old BALD guy, who is a CHRISTIAN, and in LAW ENFORCEMENT (which means he has a UNIFORM)and he rides MOTORCYCLES. (Beachy Mimi biting knuckles) Beachy Mimi SO needs a little BAD BOY is her life. Fan me, Peeps, Fan me. It's hot in here.

18 comments:

Joan said...

SCORE!

*smiles*

Great post and thanks for sharing.

God Bless

a Tonggu Momma said...

I love that you highlighted how believers sometimes use prayer requests as an opportunity to gossip. A good friend of mine left our previous church because of that very thing.

As to the uniformed bald man... WOO-HOO!!!! I can provide a character reference if needed. I wait with bated breath to learn more.

Queen B said...

You think you got The Davida a lot...try being in her Sunday School class. She fully expects that I am currently serving time.

Wouldn't it be funny if she was?

Anyway...I'm thinking I might need a bit more information on The Man.

Loving Our Homeschool said...

Fanning furiously here. And I'm ROFL at you biting your knuckles!!!

Sorry you had to live through the whole Davida stage.

Dawn said...

We've moved a lot, too, and have found congregations and pastors very similar to the one you described. Wonder if we ever crossed paths at some point?

I had a hysterectomy during my 40th birthday month and my hubby had to finally tell our pastor at the time to leave the preop room. My nerves were getting the best of me and hubby could see I needed my last few preop minutes to be ALONE with HIM. Sheesh.

WOOHOO!!! You do know that your bald-headed, law enforcer, motor-cycle-riding comments are NOT going to be enough info for those of us who are interested, right? Just pretend you're asking for prayer... give me the DETAILS! Ha ha!!!

fortyb4forty said...

Good lesson and reminder. I'll try not to laugh out loud the next time I am witness to a "Davida".
Trying to think of something witty to say about the "man" but I am not witty at the moment. I am very excited for you and won't pry (although I'd love to) but you brought a smile to my face and I needed it today. Very happy for you.

cndymkr / jean said...

OMG! I am so excited for you. Bald men are so "in" right now. Is he a motorcycle cop? Are handcuffs involved? Great, now I need a fan too.

Alicia said...

Oh, Mimi! You have to spill on Biker Boy!

Does this mean you will be changing your name to Bad-to-the-Bone Mimi?

Jen said...

Woo hoo!! Bald Christian uniform guy!!!

Tammy said...

Am I the only one who caught the "ED" health condition listed and thought it was hysterically funny??

Ahem.

And how funny that QB states HERE on your blog that she needs more details about said bald, Christian, law enforcement man. :-)

kristen@nosmallthing said...

OH, the uniform would get me... Fanning you wildly...

The Davida...that cracks me up. I can totally picture it!

Susan said...

I think I just completely forgot the what the beginning content of this post was because I am now so excited for you and your potential match made in bald guy heaven.

peepone49 said...

I love the emergency breaking
news! Great post. Yep, need
a little more scoop on the guy
in uniform. Spill it!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

So your post on being less judgmental was fantastic, but the news you threw out there at the end sort of distracted me from it all. Um yeah...I think we ALL need some more info. :)

Tiff said...

Oh wow, if I couldn't smile in church I'd be in BIG trouble lol

Theresa said...

Fanning wildly over in Connecticut. We need more info on the hunk.

Capri K said...

I grew up in a church where I was frequently on the receiving end of "The Davida". All I can say is, who would want to know their Jesus?

Oooh, Do tell us more about Officer Maybe!

Heather said...

**GASP-CLUTCH THE PEARLS**

::sings:: Go Mimi, Go Mimi, it's your birthday..