Get Out The Banjos

...as in the dueling banjo music of the most horrible movie ever.

I think we have a neighborhood rumble about to start. Hopefully, if the rain stops pouring I'll have a photo to post.

The neighbor.

Her pumpkins are back outside, but on the other side of the door where they can't be seen from my porch.

The phone lines have been hot. How do I know?

"Ring-Ring" (as in the phone) my phone number is unlisted except the POA just published a new version of our inmate I mean address list.

BM: Hello
NN (Nosy Neighbor) Hi! Was that your sister fixin' up your porch the other day?
BM: Huh?
NN: Your sister. Did she fix up your porch?
BM: I don't have a sister.
NN: Well. Louise (another neighbor) and Mary (another neighbor) have seen that girl that looks like you over there quite a bit. You know the one that drives the little sports car.
BM: Yes, she drives a sports car.
NN: So, she's not your sister?
BM: Uh, no.
NN: Aren't you related to the "NoName" family?
BM: Yes.
NN: How are you related?
BM: I'm the daughter.
NN: Is she related to them, too?
BM: Who? (of course I knew, I was just messing with her by now)
NN: That girl that looks like you.
NN: Is she kin?
BM: Kin? (snort snort)
NN: You know, relations.
BM: No
NN: No cousin?
BM: No
NN: She sure looks like you.
NN: What's your last name again?
BM: Mimi
NN: How come it's not "NoName"?

At this point Beachy Mimi is getting a little tired of this conversation/interrogation that started over a pumpkin topiary.

Evil Beachy Mimi wants to say "Mind your own business."

Jesus wants me to be kind and just answer her questions. I've been thinking of starting a little Bible Study and including these ladies. I've got just the one
BOUNDRIES

These are sweet old ladies that mean well. All they have to do is watch soaps, talk to their deaf husbands, watch my house or the geriatric frat house...also across the street.

Personally, I think they are much more interesting. In fact, I've been wondering...are they all related? Fathers and son? Brothers?

Hmmm. BOUNDRIES. I guess I need to attend my own Bible Study.

9 comments:

Julie of blessedwith5 said...

Our neighbors are pretty nosey too!

Maybe they all should belong to the I'm My Own Grandpa guild! Do you remember or have you ever heard that song? It is a riot!

Good for you - the keeping sane part!

Queen B said...

You are stirring up trouble...

Pattik said...

PeepOne here. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, I could really mess with
her mind while you are gone
to the beach smelling crockpot
roast!!
This could be good!!

Susan said...

Hilarious!
I am cracking up over the geriatric frat house!
Boundaries is a good one, but somehow I don't think it would work.

Tammy said...

This is great! I live in an "older" neighborhood and many of my neighbors are retired, but they are not the keep up with the GRITS' types.

But if you tell them you are going out of town, they are going to take notes the whole time you are gone. I love 'em.

Dawn said...

Works the same way in neighborhoods like mine where there's a lot of SAHM's, too. Only we do it under the guise of watching out for each other, of course! Ha ha!

I say you need to allow PeepOne to host party at your house the next time you're out of town. That oughta get 'em stirred up!

RR Mama said...

To funny! I am with Dawn, in letting Peep One do what ever she wants while you are gone! It should make for some very interesting phone calls when you return.

Jen said...

Well, you do know what they say, don't you? "If you can't beat'em, then join'em."

I like the idea for the bible study!

xox

Fuschia said...

Geriatric frat house? Any bald men?